I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Randomize
