I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
