So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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