She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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