I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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