Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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