I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
