Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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