wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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