My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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