This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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