I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Randomize
