You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
