worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
