This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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