hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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