He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
