There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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