Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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