Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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