I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
