just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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