Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize