So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
