All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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