I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
