I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
