Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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