That's when you crack a 10am beer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
