dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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