Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
