bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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