just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
