I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
