The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
