Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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