remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize