awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize