my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
