so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
