it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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