hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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