he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my shit smells like andre
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
