On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
