I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
