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dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
