yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
