sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Say something about gay babies.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
