I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do herpes really smell.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize