Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
