Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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