I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
