I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
