somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
