I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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