Well douche your snatch and let's go!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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